24 things I lived and learned through mindfulness in 2024
I’ll be straight with you - 2024 has been a right fucker of a year for me.
There have been some gorgeous moments, some high highs and innumerous everyday simple pleasures. But alongside it, I have lived by far the hardest year on this Earth yet.
Despite that, I am not rounding up the year feeling betrayed by life, nor disappointed by the crushing challenges it had in store for me.
This year I learned - the hard way - that in the deepest depths of despair, confusion and grief lie some of the biggest lessons, growth and opportunities that I have ever had the fortune of experiencing. The key is being present to it all. And that is where my practice has stepped into it’s latest glory. It has held me, nudged me, confronted me, and shone an undimmable light on the fullness of human experience.
A year ago I would probably have scoffed at the sentiment that the biggest opportunities come from the hardest places, but - and I swear it by the old gods and the new (iykyk) - it’s true.
Here’s a partial round up of 2024, and 24 things I have either noticed, learnt or was slapped round the face with along the way!
We must be kind to everyone because, just by virtue of being human, they are likely fighting a tough battle in there.
In motherhood, swap guilt for gratitude at every opportunity. Someone stepped in to help when you struggled? Gratitude. Had some rare time away from your kid/s? Gratitude! Not only will you benefit, but your family will by proxy.
Missing days of practice is not an issue or a failure - we are human and our self care routines can be as messy and imperfect as the rest of our lives
Rest is not indulgent, it's a necessary act of self compassion - sometimes we need a run or a walk, sometimes it's an hour on the sofa or an afternoon under the duvet to recalibrate
Children are the greatest guru's alive - watching how they push your buttons will tell you more about yourself than any book, qualification or meditation can!
We forget how to play as adults, not for fitness or self improvement but just for fun. We should definitely play more.
It's possible to feel ridiculously grateful and crushing sadness and grief at the same time
Toasting or doing cheers at dinner time is a simple but joyful act of appreciation. One of the joys of my year has been my little son Mac (who turned 2 in December) asking for ‘another family cheers’ at every meal time.
Trusting in the bigger process at work brings so much more comfort than feeling like life abandoned you - look for the lessons and in it find surprising and beautiful growth
Paradoxically, the less we think about ourselves and the more we think about others happiness, the happier we feel! In times where the mind gets super chatty and just wants to keep on rehearsing all those problems (real or imagined), focusing on the breath and redirecting my thoughts to others - either practically or via meditations like loving-kindness - have helped enormously
Turns out it bloody does take a village to raise a child. Ask for help without feeling guilty. Please.
Chocolate Oatly in coffee is divine, and should be enjoyed without distraction
Briefly contemplating the fact that one day you will die and leave your body every day will make you more grateful for how it serves you today, and more cosy in it as your home. This is one part of a short meditation I do in bed each morning (unless Mac wakes up screaming in which case I frantically get out of bed and run to his room without a thought of being mindful)
Self care is not selfish. Not only must we genuinely and lovingly take care of ourselves (mind, body and spirit) so that we can show up in our fullest glory for those we love, but we must show them that in a world that wants to us to work longer, run faster and buy more stuff - prioritising ourselves (and therefore themselves) is the radical act of self love our species depends on.
A 1 year old understands the concept of appreciation - tell them what you love about them. Thank them for a great afternoon at the beach, or a lovely dinnertime. Our voice becomes their inner voice.
Sometimes the bravest and most empowered thing you can do is to not do: to cancel a plan, to take a day off, to choose stillness over movement, to choose to wait over taking immediate action.
Charging your phone in another room at night makes for a much better sleep and wake routine! Because even when you desperately want to use it less, it's nearly impossible not to reach for it instinctively if it's next to your bed. Prepare to be confronted by the scale of your phone addiction in doing this. Totally worth it though.
If you hold on to bitterness or resentment or anger, you're the one that actually suffers. Let it go as quickly and fully as possible (breathwork, meditation and yoga nidra are excellent facilitators of this I have found)
We all have a voice inside our minds, narrating life and commenting on our decisions and mistakes and plans. Befriending that voice and seeing that it is only trying to help us (if in a pretty unrelenting and often painful way!) brings far more relief than cursing it's presence. It’s as much a part of you as every other bit, don’t cast it out or demonise it.
No matter our age, we all have an inner child within us. We should listen to what they need - safety, play, a cuddly toy to hold in bed, and let her (or him) have it, even if it feels a bit silly or embarrassing. If it hurts no one else, and helps you, it's the right thing to do. After my miscarriage this year, someone advised us to buy the baby a toy - and I cannot tell you how much comfort it has given me (and my husband) to hug that snuggly little hedgehog in bed when I couldn’t hold my baby any more.
Ritual is relief. Informal or formal ceremonies at points of growth, death, loss or celebration are a beautiful way of consciously honouring the unfolding of life. And in times where it feels life is doing to us, or even taking from us, it gives us control in how we respond to that with love.
Peanut butter and banana on toast is still one of the best meals there is.
There is little more powerful than a group of women sat in circle sharing deeply and listening with their whole hearts. I learned things in circle this year that I would never have come to without that structure and safety (massive thanks to Cathy and Emily for this).
Poems by Donna Ashworth have a medical grade ability to soothe the soul in times of despair (how she gets inside my head I have no idea, but she’s welcome there anytime). I have leaned on this woman’s words in times of joy, grief, and gratitude. They also make for fabulous pieces to read at classes and retreats. Turns out she’s inside everyone’s head, not just mine.
Whatever 2024 had in store for you, I hope you were able to meet it in the moment. And if you want to introduce a little more mindfulness or meditation (or breathwork as I am about to qualify!) into your 2025 then you know where to find me :)
Thank you for being here, and reading this. You matter, a whole fucking lot. I hope you never forget it.
Lauren xxxx
